Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas

The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide:

A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger."

At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him. Luke 2:9 -14

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Relevant

I am reading a book by Chuck Pierce -- Interpreting the Times (FABULOUS book!)

Pierce writes about Matthew 11:12 -- And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. He goes on to explain that FORCE is a word that denotes power, strength, and straining. Here are ten strands that better explain the concept that Jesus was attempting to bring forth through the ages:

He will have a people filled with strength.
He will have a people who gain momentum
He will have a people of accurate moral reason and judgement.
He will have a people of violence.
He will have a people of virtue.
He will have a people who have the power to bind and loose.
He will have a people of destiny.
He will have a people who move like a raging storm in the earth
He will have a people, who like Jesus, fulfill the law without being confined to the law of the earth.
He will have a people filled with strength and power for war.

(This is all found on pages 135-137.)

I thought this was so relevant to us. I think we all represent different strands of the FORCE. We all have different giftings and God uses those all together. I remember a couple of years ago, a friend was venting about the "mundane parts" of life...which I never articulated myself BUT SO IDENTIFIED with this person...the wiping of snotty noses, the making of the peanut butter sandwiches day in and day out, etc....

I think the above revelation cracks that our life is mundane framework...nothing is for waste...whether we are pouring into our children or praying with a friend about global issues. WE ARE RELEVANT in the kingdom and we are part of that force! I don't think we have to be in Washington DC to be a part of the the Force! Please know y'all are powerful in the kingdom...world changers and you don't even have to leave the city limits!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Slavery

I recently took my daughter to see a movie...just relaxing ...hanging out with my daughter...standing in line for the tickets....when she turns to me and says, "Mom, if there were slaves today...would I be one?"

This is not the only painful and difficult questions she has asked me in the past few months about race. We were at Target a few months ago and I asked her if she wanted a pair of Converse shoes. She answered, "only white girls can wear those." I was horrified. I asked her where she got that idealogy (OK I did not use that word!). I explained to her that the color of her skin does not determine what you can and can not wear, can be, or where you go. I told her that as God's daughter she sets the standard -- she has the freedom.

Later after the movie (which had nothing to do with slavery by the way) she explains to me...if she had been a slave what she would have said to the white people, "I would have said look we are the same, look we have both have brains, two eyes and two ears and two hands and two feet -- the only difference is we have different color skin." I told she was exactly right....

Then she asks, " would they have whipped me because I said that... "

I do not like having to reveal the painful and shameful history to her and I never expected to be having this chat when she was seven. Kiera and I talk about American history but I always come back to her true identity...which is as God's daughter.

A few friends who had knew about this conversation gave the following prophetic words about Kiera:

She is going to be a world-changer...The revelation that God is giving Keira is right. He is helping her think through this foundational truth in a way that is personal to her. She has dark skin, so she can empathize with that. God is setting a Kingdom world view deep in her spirit. At some point she will realize that He is talking to her about her. His love story for Kiera. Her birth into slavery and the war He declared on her captors who enslaved her. The truth, that He fought for her to the death with everything He had, everything He was - holding nothing back because He loves her so much. When she gets this, it will cause her to fall deeply and madly in love with Him. Then she will pick up the sword and begin to fight - from her love, for her lover. She will declare war for the freedom of others. She will pick up the sword and fight to set others free. It is her calling, her destiny, and the song in her heart. I can see that warrior/overcoming spirit on Keira. It is her destiny, just like her mama’s. She is called to fight, but first God is causing her to love. He is revealing His broken heart for those who are not free so she can be a passionate fighter. You can’t be a passionate fighter without a heart that can feel and know love.

Once she gets that, she can be truly free no matter what external bondage holds her – just like Paul in prison. And, she can lead others to freedom.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hollywood Bound

My daughter told me recently, that when she grows up and gets married....she is moving to Hollywood and becoming famous. I believe her. Something about her tone and it just seems so possible. We talk about what she will do in Hollywood, sing, dance, model, act, emulate God's light and love.....

One day as we talked, we stopped at a local mini mart to buy some drinks...we were so thirsty. I got the drinks as she browsed the store. As I was paying, she runs up to me with a horrified look on her face and hands me a pornographic magazine. I grabbed the magazine from her and threw it on the counter and demanded to know why this trash was out for a minor child to see. The clerk looked stunned. I reminded the clerk that I could call the police and have him ticketed for this violation. At this point, the clerk is mumbling some excuse...I did not listen but just headed out the front door. (Maybe I should have done more but I just wanted to get my child out of there and I could tell she was reeling.)

As we sat in our car in the front of the store, Kiera says in the most concerned worried voice, "Mom, that lady's picture is on that magazine and her boob is showing and she doesn't know it."

This is one of those moments I hope will never happen but I know that my daughter will eventually learn the evilness that attempts to lurk in the world. So I gently tell her that the women knows her picture is on the front of the magazine and that her boob is showing. I said there are some people in the world that have such broken hearts -- that they make choices that hurt them. I can see her processing the incident and all this new information.

Suddenly she says, "you mean her boss ask her to take that picture?" In which I answered, "yes." Kiera in the most authoritative voice says, "well Mom if my boss ever asks me to take a picture like that...I will tell him that I will have to quit this job!"

That evening when Kiera went to bed, she asked again about the lady on the magazine. She said I just feel so sad for her. We decided to pray for her.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Running the Race


Even before my daughter was born, I felt God tell me to always emphasize to her she was His daughter...that this must be a foundational piece in her identity. My daughter is biracial. I am White and her father is African American or “brown” as she says.

I remember when my daughter was about three and her alerting her father that he had a different skin tone. We were at dinner and had just ordered dinner when she turned to her father and said, “you know daddy – you are black!” A few months later, I had gotten pulled over by the police for speeding. As the African American police officer walked up to the car, from the back seat you hear this little voice," Daddy is that your brother?" We laughed so hard we cried and it made it a bit easier to receive my consequence for speeding.

When she was four she told me that when she grew up she wanted to be white. This was not funny to me...I cried for a different reason. This made me really question what I was teaching her and modeling for her.

Part of what I believe was going on...was she just wanted to look like someone in her family...wanting to feel connected visually. She was trying to figure out her place in her family and community. I could relate to this because I was adopted and I felt like no one “really” looked like me in my family. Years later I saw a picture of my half sister and she looked just like me…this buzz carried me for days….someone looked just like me...amazing!

What is the point of all of this? I am not sure I really know...yet. I do feel this is part of our race and we will run together. Although looking at us we do not visually look alike...we are connected by blood but also through relationship and we have the same King - our Heavenly Father. Our relationship has deep roots because we both derive our identity from being God's daughter.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Belle of the Ball




I bought Kiera her "Christmas" dress yesterday. This morning she woke up and said, "Mom, my dress is really fancy, I think I should be wearing it to a ball." ......so if any of you are throwing a ball this Christmas season -- could you invite Kiera -- bc she has the perfect dress!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Love BIG

I think we receive revelation from the Lord. I love revelation from my Father...it always impacts my world. What is really great about revelation from God is that it goes deep and deeper. I know we have all heard sermons on the cross. I believe it is one of the most important points of reference in our lives. This week God reminded me of Jesus and the journey He took to get to the cross. Jesus remained so humble - never lashing out at those that wanted to destroy Him. He was attacked from all sides -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. He loved through that walk to the cross and even on the cross -- He emulated love.

I have felt this season God has really spoken to me about walking in love. I have realized that in order to walk in love I have to really humble my heart and mind. That is easy sometimes and sometimes that is difficult. In the difficult moments, I cry out to my Father to help me to humble my heart because I want to walk in love. That usually involves tears but God is so gracious and holds my hand as I allow my fleshly parts to burn up. I want to love other always...I want to love BIG -- just like Him.

Lord Jesus, Thank you for the wonderful experience of walking life out with you and holding your hand. Thank you for being my Father and allowing me to emulate your love for others. I ask for more Lord. I ask for your manifest presence to pour over my life. I ask to see others through your eyes. I humble myself before you and ask that you help me to love others always. I want to love BIG like you! I want others to know the safety and security that I feel having you as my Father. I love you Lord. Amen

Sunday, October 26, 2008

If I had a Soap Box

If I had the opportunity to stand on a soap box and speak...I would talk about the importance of life giving language. What is life giving language? Life giving language is language that communicates both encouragement and truth being spoken into someones life.

I work with the homeless. A few years ago, I had a client who come to the shelter after he had been discharged from the hospital. He had drank too much alcohol and became very sick. He had no where to go and was still too sick to be out in the elements. He was in his late sixties, by his appearance you could tell he had lived a difficult life.

When we sat down to do his intake, he begins to tell me a tall tale...I stopped him mid sentence and gently said let's just be real here. We both know you came here via the hospital because you were so ill because you drank too much alcohol yesterday. Then, I said excitedly, but today is a new day and a great day! You are literally at a crossroad in your life - you can return to the street and hope you don't get sick again or you have the opportunity to make a radical change in your life and go somewhere to receive help for your addiction. I said -- society needs you -- you are such a valuable piece and we need you. Please get help today. As I was talking I could tell something had happened...he literally looked ten years younger and he seemed so at peace.

He looked down and quietly said OK. I left the room to make the phone calls to get things set up. When I returned to the room, I let him know he had an appointment at the local treatment center and to go and get his items packed. I then told him I was so happy that he was taking such good care of himself today. He looked at me and thanked me for helping him and then he said in the meekest voice..."thank you for telling me I was valuable."

Please seize every opportunity to speak life giving words...they can radically change the course of someones life.

The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Chapter 7: Walking

Walking in forgiveness is such a process and journey! Initially, I did not do this! I thought if Eric would just…then my daughters and my life would be on track. What a lie!

Through a process of revelations I began to realize that I had to get my eyes back on Jesus and off Eric. God was the answer. God promises that He will take care of the orphan and widow. When I began to refocus on the truth, the walk became hopeful BUT still a journey. I began to focus on what I needed to do in my life to get my house in order.

By this time Eric had left the rehab center and been on the streets for over 10 months...I did not have any contact with him during this time. God asked me to do somethings for Eric, which seemed outlandish and weird. I had very limited financial resources at this time and He asked me to drive 30 miles away from my home and drive a route (that God showed me) through the neighborhood where my Eric hung out. I went and I prayed in tongues and drove the route once. The next day I drove and prayed in tongues twice…until the 7th day. On the seventh day, my daughter and I drove the route 7 times praising the Lord. This was an act of obedience on my part and very humbling for me. It was also a faith building exercise. I spent money on gas that I could have used other places but God so provided for our needs. Also I may not know until I get to heaven how our prayers and praises impacted that neighborhood but I stand in faith that we did some spiritual damage. I look back now and again just think what a privilege that God would use me.

Days after completing this assignment, God gave me another one. I was to pray for Eric daily for a month…..I was mad! "Lord, I have already prayed for him and I have driven the streets releasing your power and glory AND now you want me to commit to pray for him for another 30 days. OK my heart was still HARD and I heard these words, “This is not about you.”

This humbled and broke my heart tremendously. So many times in my head when difficult circumstances have risen – I have heard these words –"Its not about you." I know for a fact it is not about ME – we are to stand in the gap for these hurting individuals.

In walking in forgiveness, God allows you to see the individual the way He sees them. He will reveal to you how He sees that person without the cloak of their sin – often times it is a picture of a very wounded child. The sin in the person’s life is not who they are but this is a dark cloak that has come upon them...they are wounded and hurting individuals.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Chapter 6: Restoration

As I tell my journey, I could easily point to others in my life that have caused me pain but that would not be the WHOLE story. My sin in my life was very hidden and no one really knew about it. I had my own set of issues!

I desired freedom and continued to pursue God. I was at a Texas Ablaze conference. Keith Miller asked if anyone there had an addiction, and to please stand up. My world stopped and I knew this was a moment that I had to make a choice...continue to walk out death or decide to choose life. I stood up, petrified yet so desperate for freedom. As Keith came up to me, he asked me what my addiction was -- I told him I had an eating disorder. He called his wife Janet over and they both prayed for me. Instantly, the ridiculous thoughts that would twirl around in my head and drive the eating disorder were gone. I was completely healed at that moment.

Sadly, I continued for another 18 months practicing my eating disorder because I believed that my body would not work correctly. I believed a lie. I had abused it for so many years and I was gripped by fear. I came to a point that I realized that I was not choosing life...I was not believing I had a full healing. I became accountable to a friend and stopped practicing that hideous habit.

God is so gracious, all I had to do was step into the full healing. God's grace was waiting for me to make the complete leap.

He said to her, "Daughter your faith has healed you. Mark 5:34

Monday, September 29, 2008

Redeeming the Times

I have a wonderful testimony about how God cares about the "little things" for each of us and redeems the time. When Kiera was three and it was Christmas time...I was thinking...she is growing up so quickly and I don't have any home movies of her. (I didn't have a movie camera at the time.) I thought that was sad that we live in such modern technological world and I wouldn't have any home movies of her. Anyways, this was a thought that was about 20 seconds in length...never thought about it again...never even verbalized this thought.

A few weeks later, a sweet couple who helped me periodically by keeping Kiera for me on a weekend invited us for a Christmas dinner. At the end of dinner, they gave me a Christmas present. I opened it and there are 3 VCR tapes of home movies of Kiera from infancy on up...they had been taking home movies of her. I was blown away... I think this was one of the best presents I have ever received. I could not believe a fleeting 20 second thought had materialized.

So many times I reflect on that moment because God honored a "desire" in my life and He redeemed time. I thought the first three years of her life had not been documented...I would have lived just fine not having those tapes but He cared enough about me to make sure I had a priceless treasure. Amazing!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Choose Life

I received my Voters Registration card this week. I was showing it to my daughter and explaining that in a few months I would be voting for the future President of the United States. She asked me if I was voting for the black or white one.

I explained to her that in the Bible, it says for us to always choose life. So I would base my decision on identifying the candidate that chooses life. I would choose a candidate that made "life giving" choices. My vote would no be determined on the color of ones skin.

I then told her...the cool thing about my choice is that he has chosen a woman to be his Vice President. She excitedly asked, "Is it you - MOM?"

.........gotta love the girl!

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! Deuteronomy 30:19

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Chapter 4: Healing

During this time in my life, I had so many fears. I felt overwhelmed with all the responsibility in my life. One giant fear I had was that I suffered from a illness that could pop up at any time and I feared that it would over take me and how would I care for my daughter. This illness had plagued me most of my life. I had been told, I would have to be on medication due to this illness for the rest of my life. It was a very hopeless situation.

Growing up I had been taught that any type of healings did not really occur except in very rare cases. The gifts were not for today.

...Well in my renewed pursuit of God, I was being exposed to the miraculous healing power that is available today for everyone. I was still processing all of this when I was invited to attend a conference in Oregon. It was absolutely amazing!

As we were worshipping, I suddenly felt something literally lift off my body. I knew in that instant that I was healed from my illness. I went up and testified of my healing. I was overcome with Gods mercy on my life!

While I was healed physically...this shifted my whole life mentally and emotionally. The healing served as a catalyst for a deeper and more strategic pursuit of God. I knew He was concerned about me and my future. The landscape of my life had changed - I had hope!

That was over four years ago and I have never had one symptom of the illness. I praise God and give him all the honor and glory. While I am so grateful for this healing - this was the true beginning of change for me...this did something to my heart...God began to chip away at my fears. I new at that moment that God truly loved me and was holding my hand on my journey.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Chapter 3: Pursuit

I would like to report that the storm began to settle down but this was not the case....life became more intense and sad and heartbreaking. Being the great problem solver that I am...I knew that if Eric would just follow "my plan" that our life could resume. The plan was dependent upon him and getting his life back on track.

As I was talk with a friend about my perfect plan.....they asked me...What does God have for you? What does God want you to do? I sat there in stunned silence. I did not have an answer. This was not about me and my behavior...was it? This friend gently suggested that I pursue God and hear what He had for me and I could this by praying, seeking His face, being at every church service, bible study, conference -- I could get to.

Suddenly, I had a different plan, my daughter and I were in hot pursuit of God and His plan for us. I changed my focus...I looked higher (above my problems) to God. What a great adventure we have had and continue!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Myspace Jesus Justice

Currently, we are living in a fatherless generation. This has a devastating effect on our children and their future. It is the desire of our Heavenly Father for our children to grow up in a relationship with their father’s.

I would like to invite you to stand with my daughter and I in prayer for God’s Justice to be poured out over our children’s relationship with their fathers - for missing fathers to return to their children’s lives TODAY. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=356000745

It is an honor to stand in the gap, please seize this opportunity with us. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers…. Malachi 4:6

Decree a thing and it shall be established Job 22:28

Statistics:
According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3

An estimated 24.35 million children (33.5 percent) live absent their biological father. Religion that our God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. James 1:27

Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Mark 10:14

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Chapter 2: Unravel

Literally days after returning from the weekend retreat my marriage began to unravel even more. More deception was brought to light…and six weeks later Eric relapsed.

While sad, my heart was tired too and I wanted out. I called a friend the next morning to tell her Eric had relapsed and this was the last straw for me. I wanted a divorce. As I was telling her what a martyr I had been in this marriage, she screamed at me, “don’t you realize that you are in a fight with Satan for your husband…?”

Her words went deep and made me angry.

Choking back tears and my heart truly in physical pain – I knew she was right and I had to fight.

Eric returned a few days later and entered a year long treatment program. I assured him I would wait for him.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

Chapter 1: Addendum

I hope that the previous post does not sound cavalier in regards to my decision to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I had heard the teaching on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit many times but my heart was turned to recieve truth that day. I realized my being in control of my destiny was not really working out for me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Chapter 1: Lifeline

I want to preface the next few posts by saying that I will be revealing some “personal family business” and my intent is NOT to tear anyone down or cast a bad light on anyone but to be honest about our experiences as we live life. Our walk and is not unique but hopefully through our walk our King and all His love will be honored.

In 2003, I was married and my husband Eric and I were going to a church retreat. We had been married for eight months and Eric had relapsed the month before again… I was not in a good place mentally or emotionally - I was not happy. As we drove to the retreat, we got into an argument – who knows about what but it was upsetting to both of us. In heated words Eric said, “I am sick of this life and I am going to this retreat to get what ever they have for me.” Well these words pierced my heart – they had such an urgency and desperation to them. I thought he was going to run to Jesus and I did not want to be left behind – I wanted more of Jesus too. On some level, we both new He was our only hope.

We both arrived at the retreat and I flung the door open on my life. What ever the speakers talked about – I listened with such intensity. We broke up into small groups, the women all together and the men all together. I am sharing about stuff I never talked about because I was desperate…I needed the love of my Father and I thought this was how to get it. I also thought Eric was doing the same.

The second night we were there, someone got up and spoke about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Now I had become a Christian at a very young age and I had been exposed to the Baptism of the Holy Spirit as an adult. I had never received it because frankly – it freaked me out. Speaking in tongues was always so questionable and such a taboo subject.

God so had His eyes on me…I was terrified that I was getting into something hokey BUT there were people there that I had grown up with in the church. Our parents had fellowshipped together and I was DESPERATE. I went forward to receive the Baptism, thinking that Eric was on my heels. I received prayer and immediately received my prayer language. I turned around to let Eric know because I thought he was standing behind me. As I turned around my eye’s caught sight of him sitting in the audience. My heart dropped. I was sad – because I was tired but I also had this new hope that was difficult to put into words.

God had thrown me a lifeline. While I did not realize it at the time my relationship with Him had gone from a horizontal relationship to a vertical relationship. Those are the only words I have to describe it.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Smile Big

This picture drawn by my daughter and always makes me smile...thought I would share. Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Psalm 100:1

Monday, September 1, 2008

Lord's Supper

My daughter and I usually go out to lunch after church on Sunday's. Recently, my daughter and I had finished eating our lunch and she wanted dessert. I told her we were going to skip that for today. In which she quickly replied, "but Mom I am still hungry -- I did not even get the Lord's supper today"...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Forgive Again

Last year my daughter, Kiera came home from school with a report stating she needed a bit more academic support in her reading. I was so angry…very angry.

As I sat on my couch trying to figure out when I would fit this new assignment into my already jam-packed schedule – I just fumed. I was not happy!

I knew I was mad but I also realized I was a bit over the top with my feelings about this situation. I was not upset with my daughter or the school but I was very frustrated.

I called Aunt CC to vent and as I was talking to her, I said, “if Eric (Kiera’s father) was here I would not be in this situation.” I would not have all this responsibility on my own – I was so angry with him. I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of the responsibility of raising my daughter alone.

Now, I thought I had resolved this and forgiven him and forgiven him and FORGIVEN him some MORE. Evidently, God was allowing me to see I still was operating in some unforgiveness. I cried – frankly I was sick of forgiving him BUT I also knew I did not want bitterness to get a foothold in my life. I cried some more and then I forgave Eric again and asked God to forgive me for harboring this anger – I had not seen it. God is so gracious – I instantly felt lighter and happy again. The overwhelmed feeling was gone.

Thank you Lord for sifting me, again!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Love of our Father


I have to highlight a recent affirmation from God – He is such a loving Father. Often my cry to Him is to reach down from heaven and affirm my daughter in her gifting’s and talents. God went so above and beyond!

Yesterday, my daughter was honored at a reception at the Dallas Central Library by the Nasher Sculpture Center as their Grand Prize Winner of their “Dream Collage” contest. She won several lovely prizes.
The best part was that she was affirmed as an artist. She is very talented and she has now been recognized in a public forum. I know God has orchestrated this for her. He has instilled in her amazing talents in the arts and I know through her talents she will be a bright light on the hill for Him.

I have included a picture of her work which will be hung in the Nasher Sculpture Center on October 18, 2008 along with other great artist such as Pablo Picasso. God is great!

His children will be mighty in the land…. Psalm 112:2

Monday, August 18, 2008

Still Standing!

In life, we have the privilege of interfacing with people with extraordinary strength and bravery – individuals that stand up for what is right no matter the adversity and even if that means standing alone…..heroes!

I have a few heroes in my life and one of them is my daughter. My daughter was in first grade last year at our local public school. Last spring she told me the following story:

In my daughter’s first grade class there were only 6 girls and 11 boys, so the girls were a rather tight group often playing with one another. The students had gone out to the playground to play. The girls all ran out to the swing set and sat crossed legged on the ground, closed their eyes and put there arms and hands out and began to “ohm” over and over.

My daughter still standing told them to stop – she explained to them that they were calling up demons. She explained that Jesus would not want them to “ohm”. The girls listened to her but then began to “ohm” again only louder.

I asked my daughter, “ What did you do?” She quickly replies, “I went and played by myself”. I was so proud of her at this moment.

But being her mother I also wanted to protect her and wanted to make sure she did not feel rejected. I said, “ are you OK – how do you feel?”

My daughter looked at me and said, “Mom I am fine -- remember, you told me I am leader not a follower.”

She is a true hero – warrior for Jesus!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Amazing Grace

My daughter and I live in a wonderful place in Dallas, TX but we don’t have washer/dryer connections. Going to the laundry mat weekly has been a new urban experience for us. After scouting out many laundry mats in our area, we settled on the one with the best machines. At our laundry mat, we are usually the only ones that speak English but we have used this as an opportunity to practice our novice Spanish language skills. The laundry mat is usually full of people, some are old and some are young. I have tried to make a dreary weekly chore fun and adventurous. We play Pacman and try to guess what they are saying on Spanish TV, but my favorite part is the jukebox – it usually plays Mariachi music. I love it! I have fine tuned the weekly laundry mat visits to under 2 hours. That is driving into the parking lot and driving out.

One day last winter, we doing the usual weekly adventure of washing, loading, and folding and hanging clothes….being a single mom – I was also trying to cram about three other activities into the time too. I had brought my daughter’s dinner – she ate, she did her homework, and practiced her spelling words. We were in the laundry zone.

Earlier, I had noticed water on the floor and evidently it was coming from a washer. The laundry attendant came with a large industrial size bucket full of dirty water and begins to mop up the water. As she gets the mop out of the bucket she flings a bunch of water everywhere barely missing my daughter and I and our folded laundry. I was not happy about this and quickly put my hand up and said, “Stop, please you are getting water all over us.” I know there was a language barrier but I had used a kind tone and held my hand up (a universal sign). The laundry attendant looked at me and continued to mop the water up and dip the mop back into the bucket. Again, she removes the mop from the bucket and flings water everywhere again barely missing us and our clean clothes. I look at the woman in the eyes with my blood boiling and out through my mouth comes my voice singing Amazing Grace at the top of my lungs. Everyone in the laundry mat stops and turns around and is staring at my daughter and I. My daughter is acutely aware all eyes are on us and she just grins at everyone and softly says with great concern in her voice “what are you doing Mother?” In which is I sing to her “I’m singing a song”. Well I only know part of Amazing Grace so on the parts I can’t remember I start humming until I get to the chorus again. I can’t say I am much of a singer so I am sure there were many thoughts running through everyone’s minds – one can only speculate as there was stunned silence hanging in the air.

But it was interesting…..while everything had stopped for a few seconds and silence had fallen – I realized I had sung a universal song – a spiritual song and through this song I was able to communicate peace and love….. the woman finished mopping moving to the other side of the laundry mat and I gathered my child and clothes up and we left without incident. I suddenly felt refreshed and inspired!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Gold Key

A few months ago my daughter and I were at the laundry mat and she asked for money to purchase something from the bubblegum machine. I gave her some change and she returns with a plastic bubble container. She is so excited as she opens it and finds a gold necklace with a gold key charm…..she thinks it is the most gorgeous necklace she has ever seen and immediately puts it on. (I am praying her poor neck doesn't turn green) She is so proud of this necklace and wears it for days until the necklace breaks. All she is left with is the gold key….which she puts in her room with all her other special treasures!

A few weeks later my daughter’s godmother (Aunt CC) calls and says I found something in my washer that belongs to you. (That week I had done a load of laundry at her house) “It looks like some sort of charm.” Charm? I thought and quickly denied that it was ours. “I think it is a gold key,” she said. I wondered,”How did that gold key get into her washer?”.

Well after the call, I forgot about the 50 cent gold key until a few weeks later. I was over at Aunt CC’s and found the gold key lying on a random table in her home. I remember picking up the gold key but don’t really know what I did with it….maybe I put it in my purse, gave it to my daughter….who knows?

Again a few weeks later, my daughter and I are walking out of church to out car and I look down and in the parking lot -- what is staring back at me -- THE GOLD KEY! I could not believe it! How did it get to my church parking lot and how long had it been there? I happened to look down and see it….AMAZING!

OK I finally was getting that there was probably some sort of MESSAGE here!!! (I had a dream a few years ago about a gold key and I could not find it so I wondered it there could be a link?)
I took the gold key home and placed it on top of my computer so I would remember and pursue what was God trying to tell me. It sat on my computer for a month or so until we moved to our new apartment. I thought I had been careful with the gold key….I don't know moving was a blur. When I went to inspect the old apartment one last time….what do you think was on the floor in the middle of the living room -- you guessed it the gold key!

So as I write this, the gold key sits on my computer as a reminder that God speaks to us in many ways, dreams, visions, audible words, songs, rhema words, prophetic words, and (I believe) symbols! And yes I have begun to receive some of the revelation linked to the gold key.

Suddenly!

My daughter and I have a game we play a lot in the car. We will listen to the classical radio station and make up stories that go along with the music. The other night she wanted to play and I was tired. When it was my turn to tell a story…….my story was feeble. And she looks at me and says, “that is not a story there was not a suddenly”.

Her statement really struck me and I really pondered it. We love to tell stories and listen to stories –especially about miracles. They always include a “suddenly” which is really God’s miraculous power that breaks into our natural world. These stories are our testimonies! I know we all have them - testimonies of God’s miraculous power and love invading our lives.

I have also included a few verses that capture the “suddenlies” in the Bible:

As they were walking along and talking, suddenly a chariot of fire appeared, drawn by horses of fire. It drove between the two men, separating them, and Elijah was carried by a whirlwind into heaven. II Kings 2:11

The light from the sun was gone. And suddenly, the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn down the middle. Luke 23:45

Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Acts 2:2

Suddenly, there was a bright light in the cell, and an angel of the Lord stood before Peter. The angel struck him on the side to awaken him and said, “Quick! Get up!” And the chains fell off his wrists. Acts 12:7



Please keep the “suddenlies” coming Lord Jesus…..break into our world today!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Rainbow Days!


Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:16

Friday, July 25, 2008

Turning Hearts

I had a dream a few weeks ago that I wanted to record here.

I am walking into a big banquet hall and there lots of families there. The banquet is for families to honor their fathers. A father stands up and begins to read a biography of his father and telling of his wonderful deeds and sacrifices that he had made for his family.

Suddenly this man’s own son stands up and grabs the papers and begins to read the words. His tone is heavy with sarcasm as he reads the words. It is very uncomfortable to sit and listen as he reads.

As the boy reads the words something begins to happen. As he reads the words, the power of the sacrifices that the man had made began to touch a very deep place in the boy and his voice begins to quiver with emotion as he reads about his grandfather. He puts the papers down and begins to tell exploits of sacrifice that his own father that he has made for his family. The boy explains how this has touched and transformed his own life. The boy shows true honor to his father. It is a very powerful moment. All the angst that the boy initially had has melted away. He has truly been transformed by the actions of sacrifice and love of his father.

End of dream.

He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers…. Malachi 4:6

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Jesus Justice

Why decree Justice?

I believe we have developed such a skewed view of Justice.. Justice is often associated with punishment or wrath – evening up the score. This is not the Justice that God describes in Isaiah 42:1-4

1 “Look at my servant, whom I strengthen. He is my chosen one, who pleases me. I have put my Spirit upon him. He will bring justice to the nations.
2 He will not shout or raise his voice in public.
3 He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.
4 He will not falter or lose heart until justice prevails throughout the earth. Even distant lands beyond the sea will wait for his instruction.”

We want this kind of Justice -- I call it Jesus Justice – it encompasses deliverance, love and mercy. When the spirit of justice falls that means repentance and humbling will occur and that must be in place for true healing and restoration to occur. Justice is not about someone being punished for a wrong doing – justice has occurred when an individual takes responsibility for his actions, has repented for his actions -- asked forgiveness, and seeking Gods restoration in their lives ensuring this will never happen again………….

While I believe negative behavior should have consequences – I also hope that Jesus Justice falls because this will result in heart movement. Meaning that the individual will not only be repentant for their behavior but also will humble themselves and cry out to God for His love and His restoration in their lives……

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Camp of Victory

I remember a time when I did not encourage my daughter to pray for her father’s return to her life. What was that about?

I believe we make choices based on our fundamental beliefs.

I realized I had some disappointments in my life that had manifested into unbelief. I had allowed those disappointments to define who Jesus was to me. My vision of Jesus was not congruent to the true Jesus in the Bible. I love Jesus and had given him my heart …… but my heart was hard.

When we pray, we are standing in faith that God will hear and answer our prayers. God is extending us an invitation to believe and have faith in Him. When we come to God with our prayers …we are accepting His invitation.

In the past, I had prayed faithfully and God had answered….just not the way I wanted…disappointment began to set in. Evidently that disappointment took root and when another invitation came and I did not even RSVP – my heart was hard.

I had a big problem.

The love of my heavenly Father is so healing to the heart. Over time God began to heal and woo my heart…my daughter began asking tough questions – I knew I had to make a decision…was I going to accept the invitation or continue to live with a hard heart?

We have decided to accept the invitation and join the party in the Camp of Victory!

Recently, God gave me the word – Justice to decree over my daughter’s and her father’s relationship. I think this is a word for all children…who have lost fathers.

We decree Justice over the relationship between my daughter and her father. We pray he returns to her life, today! If he does not we will continue to live in the camp of Victory surrounded by a bit of mystery – we don’t always understand but we don’t have to – God has us in His hands!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Just Give

When my daughter and I first moved into the city, she enjoyed the new sights and asked lots of questions. One afternoon as we were driving home, my daughter saw a man on the side of the road holding a sign. He was obviously homeless – tattered clothes and he looked tired......so tired.

She asked me what the sign said and I told her the man was asking for money. “Why does he want money, Mom?” she asked. I tried to explain to my six year old the plight of the homeless. I told her the man did not have a home, job, or food and needed money to secure these items.

As she listened and took all the new information in, she quickly replied, “well, give him some.”

Wow! Why didn’t I think of that – the world’s problem solved! I thought about this incident all week – her words had sounded so simple and appealing.

Why didn’t I just give him some money......why had giving to the poor – become so complicated?

In my self righteous mind, I justified my lack of giving him money......because as a good Christian I needed to be a good steward of my money and I did not know what this stranger on the side of the road would do with my money. I was not going to fund foolish behavior.

In my heart I knew this was not right and I was choking on my judgment of this man.

I thought about the Gospels and how it instructs us several times, to give to the poor......I also thought about how God has blessed my daughter and I......I always say, we live “the best life ever.” Doesn’t God want that man on the side of the road to live “the best life ever?”

He absolutely does and I realized that at that moment when we interface with someone in need that we may the conduit for that “life” to begin…...to give hope. I do not believe I am responsible for what the man does with the money but I am responsible to give with a happy heart.

Since my revelation……have I given every time that I have had the opportunity? I would like to say – yes, absolutely……but that would not be true. What I can say is......I have given more.