Sunday, March 15, 2009

Chapter 8: Releasing

A few years ago, Eric reentered Kiera's life. He had been out of her life for about eighteen months and she really did not have any tangible memories of him.

I had very mixed feelings about the whole situation. While I knew she would be so happy to see him and he would love on her. I did not want her heart to be broken again.

God was taking me deeper into a trust and forgiveness chapter of my life. I really felt like Abraham when he walked up the hill with Isaac. Abraham was was willing to sacrifice his treasure - his legacy out of obedience and ultimately his trust in God. He understood, believed, and stood on the truth that God has the best laid plans for us. In the natural it did not appear to be the best plans but I stood on the truth that God had Kiera in the palm of His hands resting underneath his feathery wings. The day of the initial visit, that was my devotional lesson - Abra hams faith and obedience!

As we drove to the visit, a preacher on the radio was preaching from that same bible passage. I knew that God was asking me to trust Him on a deeper level. I felt like I was putting my child and her heart on the altar. Walking through that season was difficult at times and I was having to forgive on a daily basis. In the difficult moments, I clung to the truth that God had my daughter's heart in His hands. While I felt I was sifted, it was so freeing because God was sweeping out the corners of my life. I thought I forgiven everything but I had not forgiven all. It did not look or feel like the best plan to my natural eyes because I was looking through a lense of fear and disappointment. Again, more sweeping and healing took place.

Eric kept the visits up for almost 90 days. Sometimes, Kiera still references those visits. Those are really the only true tangible memories she has of him. Those are sweet and happy times for her with her father. We are both so grateful that she has those memories.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Week in Review

This week:

I saw a homeless man ravaging through a trashcan and eating what ever he could find. He was so hungry and desperate.

I saw a mom being arrested for shoplifting. Her 3 year old kept looking up at her trying to catch her attention so she would pick him up into her arms. The child looked so sad and broken hearted.

As I was sitting in traffic with my window rolled down, I saw and clearly heard, a pimp asking a man walking by if he wanted to go and have some fun with his lady friend. The woman's face was so vacant. As the man pushed the pimp aside, the woman looked so rejected, tired, and scared.

I was driving and I saw a man laying on the sidewalk. I turned my car around and called 911. I waited for help to arrive. Help arrived and I was going to drive away...when the fire fighter came up to my car to inform me in a very sarcastic tone...that the man was merely passed out and they came to his rescue daily - as if the mans existence was such an inconvenience.

My heart breaks when I see hurting people, I just want to let them know that Jesus loves them and that there is hope. The poor and brokenhearted need truth which is found in Jesus. I believe we are to step out and be the bridge between the broken and true hope.

I know a man that was baptised on New Years Day. We always include God in our conversations when I visit with him. This man has had a difficult life and his health is poor. He recently had surgery. When I was there this week he kept holding his arm where he had the surgery. I asked him if I could pray for him. You should have seen his face...priceless! He said, " sure you can." So, I prayed for him and he looks up and yells, "you are a sign and a wonder..." Isn't that sweet...God is good!

We can't allow the hopelessness we see to overcome us. Our eyes must look above the hurt and disappointment and seize the opportunities that God creates for us to step into and decree his truth, hope, and love.