Sunday, March 15, 2009

Chapter 8: Releasing

A few years ago, Eric reentered Kiera's life. He had been out of her life for about eighteen months and she really did not have any tangible memories of him.

I had very mixed feelings about the whole situation. While I knew she would be so happy to see him and he would love on her. I did not want her heart to be broken again.

God was taking me deeper into a trust and forgiveness chapter of my life. I really felt like Abraham when he walked up the hill with Isaac. Abraham was was willing to sacrifice his treasure - his legacy out of obedience and ultimately his trust in God. He understood, believed, and stood on the truth that God has the best laid plans for us. In the natural it did not appear to be the best plans but I stood on the truth that God had Kiera in the palm of His hands resting underneath his feathery wings. The day of the initial visit, that was my devotional lesson - Abra hams faith and obedience!

As we drove to the visit, a preacher on the radio was preaching from that same bible passage. I knew that God was asking me to trust Him on a deeper level. I felt like I was putting my child and her heart on the altar. Walking through that season was difficult at times and I was having to forgive on a daily basis. In the difficult moments, I clung to the truth that God had my daughter's heart in His hands. While I felt I was sifted, it was so freeing because God was sweeping out the corners of my life. I thought I forgiven everything but I had not forgiven all. It did not look or feel like the best plan to my natural eyes because I was looking through a lense of fear and disappointment. Again, more sweeping and healing took place.

Eric kept the visits up for almost 90 days. Sometimes, Kiera still references those visits. Those are really the only true tangible memories she has of him. Those are sweet and happy times for her with her father. We are both so grateful that she has those memories.

1 comment:

Bob Bethke said...

That's both really sad and really cool. 90 days isn't much, but having something that leaves a good memory instead of an scar of sadness is so valuable.
You're a great mom that trusts God to do what's best. Keep trusting. You're a great example to the rest of us.