Monday, September 29, 2008

Redeeming the Times

I have a wonderful testimony about how God cares about the "little things" for each of us and redeems the time. When Kiera was three and it was Christmas time...I was thinking...she is growing up so quickly and I don't have any home movies of her. (I didn't have a movie camera at the time.) I thought that was sad that we live in such modern technological world and I wouldn't have any home movies of her. Anyways, this was a thought that was about 20 seconds in length...never thought about it again...never even verbalized this thought.

A few weeks later, a sweet couple who helped me periodically by keeping Kiera for me on a weekend invited us for a Christmas dinner. At the end of dinner, they gave me a Christmas present. I opened it and there are 3 VCR tapes of home movies of Kiera from infancy on up...they had been taking home movies of her. I was blown away... I think this was one of the best presents I have ever received. I could not believe a fleeting 20 second thought had materialized.

So many times I reflect on that moment because God honored a "desire" in my life and He redeemed time. I thought the first three years of her life had not been documented...I would have lived just fine not having those tapes but He cared enough about me to make sure I had a priceless treasure. Amazing!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Choose Life

I received my Voters Registration card this week. I was showing it to my daughter and explaining that in a few months I would be voting for the future President of the United States. She asked me if I was voting for the black or white one.

I explained to her that in the Bible, it says for us to always choose life. So I would base my decision on identifying the candidate that chooses life. I would choose a candidate that made "life giving" choices. My vote would no be determined on the color of ones skin.

I then told her...the cool thing about my choice is that he has chosen a woman to be his Vice President. She excitedly asked, "Is it you - MOM?"

.........gotta love the girl!

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! Deuteronomy 30:19

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Chapter 4: Healing

During this time in my life, I had so many fears. I felt overwhelmed with all the responsibility in my life. One giant fear I had was that I suffered from a illness that could pop up at any time and I feared that it would over take me and how would I care for my daughter. This illness had plagued me most of my life. I had been told, I would have to be on medication due to this illness for the rest of my life. It was a very hopeless situation.

Growing up I had been taught that any type of healings did not really occur except in very rare cases. The gifts were not for today.

...Well in my renewed pursuit of God, I was being exposed to the miraculous healing power that is available today for everyone. I was still processing all of this when I was invited to attend a conference in Oregon. It was absolutely amazing!

As we were worshipping, I suddenly felt something literally lift off my body. I knew in that instant that I was healed from my illness. I went up and testified of my healing. I was overcome with Gods mercy on my life!

While I was healed physically...this shifted my whole life mentally and emotionally. The healing served as a catalyst for a deeper and more strategic pursuit of God. I knew He was concerned about me and my future. The landscape of my life had changed - I had hope!

That was over four years ago and I have never had one symptom of the illness. I praise God and give him all the honor and glory. While I am so grateful for this healing - this was the true beginning of change for me...this did something to my heart...God began to chip away at my fears. I new at that moment that God truly loved me and was holding my hand on my journey.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Chapter 3: Pursuit

I would like to report that the storm began to settle down but this was not the became more intense and sad and heartbreaking. Being the great problem solver that I am...I knew that if Eric would just follow "my plan" that our life could resume. The plan was dependent upon him and getting his life back on track.

As I was talk with a friend about my perfect plan.....they asked me...What does God have for you? What does God want you to do? I sat there in stunned silence. I did not have an answer. This was not about me and my behavior...was it? This friend gently suggested that I pursue God and hear what He had for me and I could this by praying, seeking His face, being at every church service, bible study, conference -- I could get to.

Suddenly, I had a different plan, my daughter and I were in hot pursuit of God and His plan for us. I changed my focus...I looked higher (above my problems) to God. What a great adventure we have had and continue!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Myspace Jesus Justice

Currently, we are living in a fatherless generation. This has a devastating effect on our children and their future. It is the desire of our Heavenly Father for our children to grow up in a relationship with their father’s.

I would like to invite you to stand with my daughter and I in prayer for God’s Justice to be poured out over our children’s relationship with their fathers - for missing fathers to return to their children’s lives TODAY.

It is an honor to stand in the gap, please seize this opportunity with us. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers…. Malachi 4:6

Decree a thing and it shall be established Job 22:28

According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3

An estimated 24.35 million children (33.5 percent) live absent their biological father. Religion that our God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. James 1:27

Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Mark 10:14

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Chapter 2: Unravel

Literally days after returning from the weekend retreat my marriage began to unravel even more. More deception was brought to light…and six weeks later Eric relapsed.

While sad, my heart was tired too and I wanted out. I called a friend the next morning to tell her Eric had relapsed and this was the last straw for me. I wanted a divorce. As I was telling her what a martyr I had been in this marriage, she screamed at me, “don’t you realize that you are in a fight with Satan for your husband…?”

Her words went deep and made me angry.

Choking back tears and my heart truly in physical pain – I knew she was right and I had to fight.

Eric returned a few days later and entered a year long treatment program. I assured him I would wait for him.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

Chapter 1: Addendum

I hope that the previous post does not sound cavalier in regards to my decision to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I had heard the teaching on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit many times but my heart was turned to recieve truth that day. I realized my being in control of my destiny was not really working out for me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Chapter 1: Lifeline

I want to preface the next few posts by saying that I will be revealing some “personal family business” and my intent is NOT to tear anyone down or cast a bad light on anyone but to be honest about our experiences as we live life. Our walk and is not unique but hopefully through our walk our King and all His love will be honored.

In 2003, I was married and my husband Eric and I were going to a church retreat. We had been married for eight months and Eric had relapsed the month before again… I was not in a good place mentally or emotionally - I was not happy. As we drove to the retreat, we got into an argument – who knows about what but it was upsetting to both of us. In heated words Eric said, “I am sick of this life and I am going to this retreat to get what ever they have for me.” Well these words pierced my heart – they had such an urgency and desperation to them. I thought he was going to run to Jesus and I did not want to be left behind – I wanted more of Jesus too. On some level, we both new He was our only hope.

We both arrived at the retreat and I flung the door open on my life. What ever the speakers talked about – I listened with such intensity. We broke up into small groups, the women all together and the men all together. I am sharing about stuff I never talked about because I was desperate…I needed the love of my Father and I thought this was how to get it. I also thought Eric was doing the same.

The second night we were there, someone got up and spoke about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Now I had become a Christian at a very young age and I had been exposed to the Baptism of the Holy Spirit as an adult. I had never received it because frankly – it freaked me out. Speaking in tongues was always so questionable and such a taboo subject.

God so had His eyes on me…I was terrified that I was getting into something hokey BUT there were people there that I had grown up with in the church. Our parents had fellowshipped together and I was DESPERATE. I went forward to receive the Baptism, thinking that Eric was on my heels. I received prayer and immediately received my prayer language. I turned around to let Eric know because I thought he was standing behind me. As I turned around my eye’s caught sight of him sitting in the audience. My heart dropped. I was sad – because I was tired but I also had this new hope that was difficult to put into words.

God had thrown me a lifeline. While I did not realize it at the time my relationship with Him had gone from a horizontal relationship to a vertical relationship. Those are the only words I have to describe it.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Smile Big

This picture drawn by my daughter and always makes me smile...thought I would share. Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Psalm 100:1

Monday, September 1, 2008

Lord's Supper

My daughter and I usually go out to lunch after church on Sunday's. Recently, my daughter and I had finished eating our lunch and she wanted dessert. I told her we were going to skip that for today. In which she quickly replied, "but Mom I am still hungry -- I did not even get the Lord's supper today"...