A few years ago, Eric reentered Kiera's life. He had been out of her life for about eighteen months and she really did not have any tangible memories of him.
I had very mixed feelings about the whole situation. While I knew she would be so happy to see him and he would love on her. I did not want her heart to be broken again.
God was taking me deeper into a trust and forgiveness chapter of my life. I really felt like Abraham when he walked up the hill with Isaac. Abraham was was willing to sacrifice his treasure - his legacy out of obedience and ultimately his trust in God. He understood, believed, and stood on the truth that God has the best laid plans for us. In the natural it did not appear to be the best plans but I stood on the truth that God had Kiera in the palm of His hands resting underneath his feathery wings. The day of the initial visit, that was my devotional lesson - Abra hams faith and obedience!
As we drove to the visit, a preacher on the radio was preaching from that same bible passage. I knew that God was asking me to trust Him on a deeper level. I felt like I was putting my child and her heart on the altar. Walking through that season was difficult at times and I was having to forgive on a daily basis. In the difficult moments, I clung to the truth that God had my daughter's heart in His hands. While I felt I was sifted, it was so freeing because God was sweeping out the corners of my life. I thought I forgiven everything but I had not forgiven all. It did not look or feel like the best plan to my natural eyes because I was looking through a lense of fear and disappointment. Again, more sweeping and healing took place.
Eric kept the visits up for almost 90 days. Sometimes, Kiera still references those visits. Those are really the only true tangible memories she has of him. Those are sweet and happy times for her with her father. We are both so grateful that she has those memories.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Week in Review
This week:
I saw a homeless man ravaging through a trashcan and eating what ever he could find. He was so hungry and desperate.
I saw a mom being arrested for shoplifting. Her 3 year old kept looking up at her trying to catch her attention so she would pick him up into her arms. The child looked so sad and broken hearted.
As I was sitting in traffic with my window rolled down, I saw and clearly heard, a pimp asking a man walking by if he wanted to go and have some fun with his lady friend. The woman's face was so vacant. As the man pushed the pimp aside, the woman looked so rejected, tired, and scared.
I was driving and I saw a man laying on the sidewalk. I turned my car around and called 911. I waited for help to arrive. Help arrived and I was going to drive away...when the fire fighter came up to my car to inform me in a very sarcastic tone...that the man was merely passed out and they came to his rescue daily - as if the mans existence was such an inconvenience.
My heart breaks when I see hurting people, I just want to let them know that Jesus loves them and that there is hope. The poor and brokenhearted need truth which is found in Jesus. I believe we are to step out and be the bridge between the broken and true hope.
I know a man that was baptised on New Years Day. We always include God in our conversations when I visit with him. This man has had a difficult life and his health is poor. He recently had surgery. When I was there this week he kept holding his arm where he had the surgery. I asked him if I could pray for him. You should have seen his face...priceless! He said, " sure you can." So, I prayed for him and he looks up and yells, "you are a sign and a wonder..." Isn't that sweet...God is good!
We can't allow the hopelessness we see to overcome us. Our eyes must look above the hurt and disappointment and seize the opportunities that God creates for us to step into and decree his truth, hope, and love.
I saw a homeless man ravaging through a trashcan and eating what ever he could find. He was so hungry and desperate.
I saw a mom being arrested for shoplifting. Her 3 year old kept looking up at her trying to catch her attention so she would pick him up into her arms. The child looked so sad and broken hearted.
As I was sitting in traffic with my window rolled down, I saw and clearly heard, a pimp asking a man walking by if he wanted to go and have some fun with his lady friend. The woman's face was so vacant. As the man pushed the pimp aside, the woman looked so rejected, tired, and scared.
I was driving and I saw a man laying on the sidewalk. I turned my car around and called 911. I waited for help to arrive. Help arrived and I was going to drive away...when the fire fighter came up to my car to inform me in a very sarcastic tone...that the man was merely passed out and they came to his rescue daily - as if the mans existence was such an inconvenience.
My heart breaks when I see hurting people, I just want to let them know that Jesus loves them and that there is hope. The poor and brokenhearted need truth which is found in Jesus. I believe we are to step out and be the bridge between the broken and true hope.
I know a man that was baptised on New Years Day. We always include God in our conversations when I visit with him. This man has had a difficult life and his health is poor. He recently had surgery. When I was there this week he kept holding his arm where he had the surgery. I asked him if I could pray for him. You should have seen his face...priceless! He said, " sure you can." So, I prayed for him and he looks up and yells, "you are a sign and a wonder..." Isn't that sweet...God is good!
We can't allow the hopelessness we see to overcome us. Our eyes must look above the hurt and disappointment and seize the opportunities that God creates for us to step into and decree his truth, hope, and love.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Make Sure You are Carrying the Right ID
I remember the day I realized I was getting a divorce. "I can't get another divorce...not again," I thought. Instantly, I had flashbacks to the aftermath of my first divorce. I was not ready to be relegated back to eating at the table of failure and wearing the crown of shame. As the memories twirled around me, suddenly I heard a voice that said, " look up". I looked up above my circumstances and looked into the eyes of my Heavenly Father.
He said, I so love you (John 15:9) and you are My child (Romans 8:16). You have been sanctified (John 17:17), justified, and glorified (Romans 8:30). You are not under the law but under My grace (Romans 6:14) and you are My precious precious child (Romans 8:16).
I saw that I had a choice of two paths, one of lies and oppression or one of truth and my Father would be there to walk it out with me -- holding my hand tightly. I realized that my reality was changing but my identity in Him could not be shaken.
Am I saying God likes divorce? Nope I am not...divorce equals division and this is not a part of the character of God...He is a God of multiplication. What I am saying is that my actions do not change the view God has of me. He loves me...I am his absolute favorite forever!
We must carry this revelation in our hearts as we face the future. Walking through divorce is difficult but with our faithful Father loving on us...our broken hearts and wounds are healed completely. Do not allow others to put their religious ideologies upon you but look to your Daddy in heaven. Look deep into His eyes...He so adores you and he is inviting you to eat at His table wearing a crown of hope.
He said, I so love you (John 15:9) and you are My child (Romans 8:16). You have been sanctified (John 17:17), justified, and glorified (Romans 8:30). You are not under the law but under My grace (Romans 6:14) and you are My precious precious child (Romans 8:16).
I saw that I had a choice of two paths, one of lies and oppression or one of truth and my Father would be there to walk it out with me -- holding my hand tightly. I realized that my reality was changing but my identity in Him could not be shaken.
Am I saying God likes divorce? Nope I am not...divorce equals division and this is not a part of the character of God...He is a God of multiplication. What I am saying is that my actions do not change the view God has of me. He loves me...I am his absolute favorite forever!
We must carry this revelation in our hearts as we face the future. Walking through divorce is difficult but with our faithful Father loving on us...our broken hearts and wounds are healed completely. Do not allow others to put their religious ideologies upon you but look to your Daddy in heaven. Look deep into His eyes...He so adores you and he is inviting you to eat at His table wearing a crown of hope.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Save you!
Recently, my daughter said to me, "Mommy, if anyone tried to hurt you...I would give my life to save you." After trying to recapture my composure, I reassured her that I felt we both were safe. Then I said, "if anyone tried to hurt you...I would give my life to save you!"
A few minutes later, she said, "I don't think my father would give his life to save me...."
OK seriously, what do you say to that kind of statement? I hope she is wrong...but I don't have any real substantial evidence to prove her wrong....
A few days later, I got the answer!
I reminded her what she had said about her father. I said, " Actually Kiera, your Heavenly Father died for you and me on the cross and rose again"....and because He did this for us...we have:
Forgiveness, Right Standing with God, Complete Acceptance, Financial Abundance, Healing, Blessings, Life, and we share in His glory.
He gave His life so that we would have life...He saved you!
A few minutes later, she said, "I don't think my father would give his life to save me...."
OK seriously, what do you say to that kind of statement? I hope she is wrong...but I don't have any real substantial evidence to prove her wrong....
A few days later, I got the answer!
I reminded her what she had said about her father. I said, " Actually Kiera, your Heavenly Father died for you and me on the cross and rose again"....and because He did this for us...we have:
Forgiveness, Right Standing with God, Complete Acceptance, Financial Abundance, Healing, Blessings, Life, and we share in His glory.
He gave His life so that we would have life...He saved you!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Leaving a Legacy
This May my daughter Olivia would have been 10 years old. Her sweet life still impacts me today. When I was pregnant with her, I had been to the doctor during my first trimester and all was well. During my second trimester as I laid in the doctor's office having the longest sonogram on the planet. The doctor came in and told me he had scheduled me for a level two sonogram. What in the world was he talking about?
I was in a bit of a daze after that...I went to my level two sonogram and received devastating news. My daughter had a tumor on her chest and her heart and lungs would be unable to grow correctly. She would not be able to sustain life once she was born.
I was stunned and angry.
I went through the nine months of pregnancy, I remember driving to the hospital to have her and feeling like I was living a paradox. I was giving birth which equaled life but for Olivia it meant death. Olivia was born and lived for two hours. She was a beautiful beautiful baby.
When I went for my six week check up, I was still trying to understand the last nine months of my life. I was talking with the nurse and said, "I just don't understand why Olivia had to die - what was the purpose?" The nurse turned and looked at me and said, "She came to change your life." Those words cut to my heart.
She did change my life...she change everything. Just like Jesus, He came to change our lives. His ministry, death, and resurrection left a powerful legacy that touches us today. I think that is what life is about to live your life in such a ways that it emulates truth that leads back to God. Olivia grasped life and ran her race hard. She changed the landscape of my life. She left a powerful legacy.
I was in a bit of a daze after that...I went to my level two sonogram and received devastating news. My daughter had a tumor on her chest and her heart and lungs would be unable to grow correctly. She would not be able to sustain life once she was born.
I was stunned and angry.
I went through the nine months of pregnancy, I remember driving to the hospital to have her and feeling like I was living a paradox. I was giving birth which equaled life but for Olivia it meant death. Olivia was born and lived for two hours. She was a beautiful beautiful baby.
When I went for my six week check up, I was still trying to understand the last nine months of my life. I was talking with the nurse and said, "I just don't understand why Olivia had to die - what was the purpose?" The nurse turned and looked at me and said, "She came to change your life." Those words cut to my heart.
She did change my life...she change everything. Just like Jesus, He came to change our lives. His ministry, death, and resurrection left a powerful legacy that touches us today. I think that is what life is about to live your life in such a ways that it emulates truth that leads back to God. Olivia grasped life and ran her race hard. She changed the landscape of my life. She left a powerful legacy.
Olivia Adrian Middleton
May 25, 1999
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Catch the Vision
One Sunday, my daughter and I are driving to church. She turns to me in a serious tone and says, "Mom, we have to get an airplane and fill it up with Bibles and drop them out of the plane over Mexico. And they will say its raining Bibles. We have to go to every state and tell them what we are doing so they can help us."
I loved it! My child was casting vision. We discussed how we could do it. I told her we could not go to all the states now but maybe we could write a letter and send it out...asking for Bibles. I also had to tell her we would probably not be able to get a plane but maybe we could mail the Bibles to Mexico. Although we both agreed it would be cool for it to rain Bibles in Mexico!
My daughter and I wrote a letter and sent it out to family and friends. Kiera collected over 50 Bibles. It was very exciting! Our church sent the Bibles to Mexico.
The point of this post is to really to encourage parents to listen to your children and if they cast vision to help others -- catch it. God is speaking to our children and we need to honor that everyone can be used to further the kingdom.
I loved it! My child was casting vision. We discussed how we could do it. I told her we could not go to all the states now but maybe we could write a letter and send it out...asking for Bibles. I also had to tell her we would probably not be able to get a plane but maybe we could mail the Bibles to Mexico. Although we both agreed it would be cool for it to rain Bibles in Mexico!
My daughter and I wrote a letter and sent it out to family and friends. Kiera collected over 50 Bibles. It was very exciting! Our church sent the Bibles to Mexico.
The point of this post is to really to encourage parents to listen to your children and if they cast vision to help others -- catch it. God is speaking to our children and we need to honor that everyone can be used to further the kingdom.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Full of Sparkle
As a infant and toddler, my daughter went by the nickname, Kiki. On her fifth birthday, after blowing out the candles on her cake, she declared that she wanted to be called Kiera - her given name.
Since Kindergarten would be starting in a few weeks I said that would be a good time to make the name change. I wanted to make sure she was really serious about going by Kiera, so about a week before school started I checked in with her again about the name change.
Me: What do you want your friends to call you at school?
Kiera: Kiera
Me: Are you sure?
Kiera: Well, they could call me Princess Sparkle!
Since Kindergarten would be starting in a few weeks I said that would be a good time to make the name change. I wanted to make sure she was really serious about going by Kiera, so about a week before school started I checked in with her again about the name change.
Me: What do you want your friends to call you at school?
Kiera: Kiera
Me: Are you sure?
Kiera: Well, they could call me Princess Sparkle!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Today is the Day
When Kiera's father Eric left, I told her that he had problems in his heart that he had to get fixed with God. A few years ago, he briefly came back into her life for a few months, he echoed the same words, "he was getting his heart fixed with God."
The Lord has been impressing on my heart for several months that in 2009 I would need to tell Kiera the "rest of the story". I had two people tell me in 2008 she was ready...but I was not ready. I knew my resistance was fear and control manifesting...YUCK! So I prayed and resolved that I would be obedient.
I asked God for the words and He reminded me of a letter that Eric had written to her explaining everything...while it is a painful letter... he explained his drug addiction and recent incarceration but he pointed back to God and how we must keep our eyes on Him or we go astray as he has done.....
On 01/11/09 I felt God say today is the day! I told Kiera that I wanted to talk with her but wanted to pray first...I wanted the Holy Spirit there with me! After praying, I read the letter and Kiera was stunned initially and then she said we must pray for him and we can even ask our church to pray for him. We talked a bit more, prayed, and she cried. About, an hour later Kiera came to me and said, "I am suppose to rip the letter up, forget about the letter and leave it in the past - let go." (I had mixed feelings about this...but felt I was to honor her) I told her OK...she got the letter and RIPPED it up! Immediately, she said, "Mom, I am vibrating - is that joy?" I said yes it is...she shook with the joy of the Lord for a few hours...crying out to the Lord for her father and praying in tongues. Ripping up that letter and leaving it in the past, letting it go... brought the sweet glory of our precious Father. The Lord is so sweet and has comforted her more than I ever could have! Thank you Lord Jesus for being so faithful to us - we love you!
The Lord has been impressing on my heart for several months that in 2009 I would need to tell Kiera the "rest of the story". I had two people tell me in 2008 she was ready...but I was not ready. I knew my resistance was fear and control manifesting...YUCK! So I prayed and resolved that I would be obedient.
I asked God for the words and He reminded me of a letter that Eric had written to her explaining everything...while it is a painful letter... he explained his drug addiction and recent incarceration but he pointed back to God and how we must keep our eyes on Him or we go astray as he has done.....
On 01/11/09 I felt God say today is the day! I told Kiera that I wanted to talk with her but wanted to pray first...I wanted the Holy Spirit there with me! After praying, I read the letter and Kiera was stunned initially and then she said we must pray for him and we can even ask our church to pray for him. We talked a bit more, prayed, and she cried. About, an hour later Kiera came to me and said, "I am suppose to rip the letter up, forget about the letter and leave it in the past - let go." (I had mixed feelings about this...but felt I was to honor her) I told her OK...she got the letter and RIPPED it up! Immediately, she said, "Mom, I am vibrating - is that joy?" I said yes it is...she shook with the joy of the Lord for a few hours...crying out to the Lord for her father and praying in tongues. Ripping up that letter and leaving it in the past, letting it go... brought the sweet glory of our precious Father. The Lord is so sweet and has comforted her more than I ever could have! Thank you Lord Jesus for being so faithful to us - we love you!
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger."
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him. Luke 2:9 -14
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Relevant
I am reading a book by Chuck Pierce -- Interpreting the Times (FABULOUS book!)
Pierce writes about Matthew 11:12 -- And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. He goes on to explain that FORCE is a word that denotes power, strength, and straining. Here are ten strands that better explain the concept that Jesus was attempting to bring forth through the ages:
He will have a people filled with strength.
He will have a people who gain momentum
He will have a people of accurate moral reason and judgement.
He will have a people of violence.
He will have a people of virtue.
He will have a people who have the power to bind and loose.
He will have a people of destiny.
He will have a people who move like a raging storm in the earth
He will have a people, who like Jesus, fulfill the law without being confined to the law of the earth.
He will have a people filled with strength and power for war.
(This is all found on pages 135-137.)
I thought this was so relevant to us. I think we all represent different strands of the FORCE. We all have different giftings and God uses those all together. I remember a couple of years ago, a friend was venting about the "mundane parts" of life...which I never articulated myself BUT SO IDENTIFIED with this person...the wiping of snotty noses, the making of the peanut butter sandwiches day in and day out, etc....
I think the above revelation cracks that our life is mundane framework...nothing is for waste...whether we are pouring into our children or praying with a friend about global issues. WE ARE RELEVANT in the kingdom and we are part of that force! I don't think we have to be in Washington DC to be a part of the the Force! Please know y'all are powerful in the kingdom...world changers and you don't even have to leave the city limits!
Pierce writes about Matthew 11:12 -- And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. He goes on to explain that FORCE is a word that denotes power, strength, and straining. Here are ten strands that better explain the concept that Jesus was attempting to bring forth through the ages:
He will have a people filled with strength.
He will have a people who gain momentum
He will have a people of accurate moral reason and judgement.
He will have a people of violence.
He will have a people of virtue.
He will have a people who have the power to bind and loose.
He will have a people of destiny.
He will have a people who move like a raging storm in the earth
He will have a people, who like Jesus, fulfill the law without being confined to the law of the earth.
He will have a people filled with strength and power for war.
(This is all found on pages 135-137.)
I thought this was so relevant to us. I think we all represent different strands of the FORCE. We all have different giftings and God uses those all together. I remember a couple of years ago, a friend was venting about the "mundane parts" of life...which I never articulated myself BUT SO IDENTIFIED with this person...the wiping of snotty noses, the making of the peanut butter sandwiches day in and day out, etc....
I think the above revelation cracks that our life is mundane framework...nothing is for waste...whether we are pouring into our children or praying with a friend about global issues. WE ARE RELEVANT in the kingdom and we are part of that force! I don't think we have to be in Washington DC to be a part of the the Force! Please know y'all are powerful in the kingdom...world changers and you don't even have to leave the city limits!
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